...here a little, there a little...

An Intercepted Letter

2010-03-25T08:27:00.042-04:00

My dear Germwood,

While I admire your ability to excell in the area of your namesake, let me remind you that yours is not the ONLY method for destroying the Enemies followers. Inflicting the sorry sap with illness upon illness will surely stretch his 'spiritual' life very thin- hopefully too thin! But be careful. I have read in the Great History of Darkness, (vol 666, I think) where breaking a man down too far with one affliction has backfired- and horribly! We almost had that rat Augustine, pains and lusts nearly sealed this great man to our services. But that strange Event occured- that must be chalked up to 'anomoly'- and we not only lost him, but he went on to reak havok among our ranks. And the testimony to his greatness is obvious by considering his very present effect on men- 1600-1700 yrs later! The point is this: you are assigned to a much weaker, much lesser man. Though your speacialty is infirmities many greater than you have overdone it, to thier own destruction, and lost their patient. But I will not deny you the temporary basking you deserve pertaining to your most recent report, namely, that your patient has incurred another sickness! I never would have thought, 14 years ago, when you were first assigned to him, that such a floodgate of infirmities would be found in one who claims that Awful Encounter. There is always present that childish enjoyment of observing the immediate results of your handywork. Only, dont be a fool and consider that as the success... just merely a teaser for the final victory if you continue to follow my advice.

A problem may arise though, if you focus only on his sickness. It's good to inflict pain and distract the patient- but remember what the great Screwtape said, "smaller, more subtle sins and distractions are the most enjoyable path to lead one to hell". The real fun is seeing how well you can mislead them- without their noticing it! Oh what an ally we have in Apathy! They are so consumed with 'life' that they dont have time to worry about the 'after-life'! It's quite a kingdom we have in the American culture, you know: so busy with 'legitimate' things. They are actually convinced that it is their duty to attend to everything else but their...(shiver)... prayer life. We have them saying, "God gave me a brain, I better use it." and they indulge in their worldly wisdom, thinking they are doing God's service. We also have them believing that their own family is more important than the Church. They find the commands, "unless you hate Father, Mother Brother, etc" so offensive and embarrassing that they just ignore it. That fact alone has given us continual access to the saints. They havent yet realized that truly loving their family is to give them up to God. They still, for all their many songs and claims of devotion, really consider their love as the love. The revelation of the Church is presently our greatest fear these days. Never- never!- let it become anything better than a "Social Club" a "Family Model" or anything like the Elks and Moose Lodges. For those sickening saints to realize the Implication* (see publishers note at bottom) is to be plunged immediately into a battle that we cannot win, and much suffering accompanies our loss.

They go to a church based on their own God-given (hee-hee!) preferences, and if they like this or that- or don't like this or that- then that is the standard by which they will attend that church! I have had many students who have so infected their patient with themselves -the patient- that they will only listen to a teaching that confirms - not only what they already believe - but the teaching also has to be delivered in a way that accomodates their immediate mood! Can you believe it?! The hearers will only listen to that which they already think they know, and it has to be heard in a way that is entertaining to them, in that moment! The easy game of fickelness allows us to have much fun in this arena. So, even the few patients that have defeated us at times are really of no lasting threat because they don't play by the rules that the hearers demand. All we have to do is keep them in line- keep their ears itching, (hee-hee!). There are Teachers who would be dangerous if they were listened to. Some Teachers seem to repeat their point over and over, they dont have 'charisma', and often aren't eloquent and engaging, (Why it is that the Enemy won't recognize the weakness of this strategy and employ stronger, wiser, more eloquent men, we know not-but we aren't suprized that it is so. He actually seems to delight in these morons!) The boredom it produces is our only defence against a devastating defeat! If those hearers were ever to apply themselves to the things they are taught in the simple Gosp-- Gos-- Gospe--- that cursed message(!) we would have quite a battle on our hands, quite a battle! Never let the hearers get beyond their emotions and their perceived entitlement to be entertained in religious matters, and the Day is ours!

Have you noticed, young Germwood, the absence of any consideration of God or their fellow men? The whole code of that miserable Christian faith- to love their God with all their heart, mind, soul and strength; and to love their neigbor as themselves- is secondary, if considered at all! The devils in the Self-Focus department have really made excellent use of the new technologies of the last century. We have successfully innoculated them from really thinking they have to obey the central commandments of their Faith! But they still claim it! Ha-ha! We will surely see many more of these actors than we think. Than they think. Since The Enemy is holy (and it behooves you to remember well that He is) how can any one of these losers ever end up with Him?!!! No, I suspect our work will pay off in dividends, what a great day it will be when they all stand before God and realize that they are, and always have been, hopeless.

But, back your fool. Don't overwhelm him with physical infirmities. Definately keep them coming, but use the weakness it creates in order to lead him to more destructive sins. When he is weak and frustrated, remind him of his past, his failures and his habits in particular. These weak people always run to their habits when they feel lost. If that doesn't work, emphasize the flaws of his FRIENDS and FAMILY- he will start to be their judge, so supply him with plenty of spiritual linguistics, that way there begins to be a wedge in the Body Life. It matters not how or what is used to drive this wedge. It doesn't matter if your patient is right or wrong in his judgement. It doesn't matter how big the event is- just as long as it happens. Use every judgement of the patient as a means for increasing his pride. He judges his friends motives, and when his friend fails (as they always will at some point) he is justified in feeling his life superior. He doesn't have to say "I told you so" just as long as he can think it. As his frustration with one or two friends grows, introduce another friend. This third friend should really be the spiritually stronger friend. Here is why; usually, if it's a one-on-one, this tertiary friend will be the wiser one, convicting his friend- but! If your patient has some good momentum going, if his bitterness and pride have been stewing and strengthening for awhile, we might be able to actually use your weaker patient to contribute to the destruction of the stronger! It's like David and Goliath! Just never let them realize that they are intended to be more like David and Jonathan!

But alas! Your report also makes you sound like a freshman; giddy and full of himself, as if you are going to win the battle single-clawed-ly. While zeal is necessary, I wonder if you are at all suited for this man. You said, and I quote, "It seems I am able to create stife among his family and friends over the smallest infraction. Many times there really is no infraction, just a misunderstanding or a pre-supposed offence. I am certain to personally grab this man after his final breath and claw him into my deeps." I wish I knew how to write a long, disappointing silence! I wish I could put down on paper that which you will only know in pain when you come in from the field! You idiot! Conflict is as much our enemy as it is our friend. In fact it can very quickly become more an enemy than we would care to have! I am not a devil with great perceptive ability, but I, even I, can almost hear your snivelling little squeak of a voice, "What? I learned in Elementary School that conflict is the way to destroy the Enemy?" Isn't it true!? Isn't that your thought?! Welcome to the Real Underworld! Perhaps the best way to make you feel the embarassment of such a philosophy will be to give an example....

....S. and L. go to the same church, they don't interact much because neither of them are involved at all in any ministry whatsoever. The devils assigned to them are able to relax and enjoy the slow death. But then, one Sunday, the Pastor makes a plea for people to join in the cause of a potentially dangerous (for us) ministry. There is a slight stir inside S. and L. - independant of one another. They both decide to investigate, and as they do their 'slight stir' begins to develop into a desire to serve. This unfortunate turn of events has caught the devils off gaurd- so they quickly regroup. The S. devil does many things to point out the very obvious flaws in L. and L.'s devil is doing great in amplifying them. By the time that S. and L. are put on the same team for the ministry there is already an underlying dislike that S. has for L. but they proceed to work.
As time passes there are instances where the dislike surfaces in conflict, and the devils are relishing such discord! (as you would too, I'm sure). Soon, to their great shock and terror, when they have over-played the coinflict card, a strange event takes place at the very climax of our would-be victory; Somehow, (and our R&D team still hasn't figured it out) a disgusting Weight of Glory shrouds our veiw, we can hear voices, but to our terror, they get progressively calmer- there is a Common Being Who dwells in each of them, and it is this One, seemingly eminating from the two, who is binding them together, the Shroud covers all offences and sins, the very ammunition of our battle is laying useless! Only after a long and painful (for us) waiting, the cloud begins to lift. We see their feet, now their legs, now waists--- my Devil! they are in an embrace that all the power of Hell cannot seperate! It is Disgusting, Horrifying. They are two- and two that should have been at each others throats- they are two, bound together by One! That is where your precious 'conflict' often ends! What's worse is that the resolved conflict now creates a bond that is greater than if they had never known each other! So listen to me clearly! Do not neglect what I am about to say: Conflict is good, but only as a temporary weapon. Use it only to plant seeds, then abandon it. It will be tempting to encourage and watch the show, but we are dealing with a strange Power that often, (I hate to admit it), pulls the Hell right out from under our feet!

Your salivating, yet affectionate father,
Wormwood.

*Publishers Note: The Implication, as I seem to understand, is the Reality of the Church Body. That which is imputed to us in the sacrament of the Lord's Supper. The living, organic life that requires impossible sustaining Power to remain unified. When the saints treat the Church as any kind of human organization, they are relying on the possible power that naturally comes from humans; some more or less charismatic or strong personalities seem to excell for a time better than others. But when the saints recognize - not merely intellectually, but to the point of action - that the Body is really an 'other worldly' Spirit that dwells in and unites- and requires- all those who call on Jesus, and that recognition forces them into a tension that requires the Lord to be the Lord, else we perish- that is the beginnings of the Implication. I understand from other literature of similar nature that the devils will be happy to allow a church to be 'successful' in any other sense of the word than what is basically above described. The Implication, to them, is the event of witnessing the Holy Spirit of God Himself operating in multiple saints simutaniously, all for a united purpose. It is the gathering of the redeemed, found in everyday, (otherwise) normal life, in Christ, that strikes fear and terror into that realm that seeks to literally destroy us.

Thoughts on Time

2010-02-18T08:12:00.003-05:00

I once saw time heading straight towards me.
Bound and determined to pass by all in Its way
Hungrily eating everything It could see
Leaving a trail of unchangeable day after day

Time has no regrets itself -- it only provides
For those it has eaten -- a history of tears
Time has no ambition, it just constantly slides
Through our lives unwelcomed and slowing down, I fear,

As the World gets thicker with the Sludge of Sin
Accomplishments and Actions are more abundantly done
And the Path of Light for Time grows more and more thin
Till the final Trump Day comes then Time will be done

So, Eternity, I see in the moment, at least
Is not merely an excess of time
But the end of this blind, ravenous Beast
And the beginning of Life divine

My Utmost for His Highest

2009-08-04T10:24:00.008-04:00

August 4th

The brave comradeship of God

note: The Black text is Chambers' devotional, the blue text is my thoughts on them

Men He took unto Him the twelve. Luke 18:31.

The bravery of God in trusting us! I don't know if this is a forgotten responsibility, or if it is one that is just taken for granted, but without doubt, it is one that should be restored to its proper place. I don't know the debts of this reality, but I am becoming more aware of the fact that God has narrowed and limited the revelation of himself to the world as the task of the church. He very well may still appear in his glory, revealed himself in mysterious ways, and fulfill his will, by means that appeared to be outside of the scope of the church. But the bottom line is that he has required and empowered a single agency to manifest his manifold glory -- not merely to our fellow men -- but primarily to the principalities and powers in heavenly places. It is true that God's will shall be done, but part of the glory of that statement is that he insists on accomplishing that will through men and women, who are redeemed by his blood, yet still as fallible as any human being. It would indeed be glorious enough, if God chose to fulfill his will apart from man, nay, even in spite of him. But the terrible truth is that God has entrusted us. But as always, his requirement comes with the power necessary to fulfill that requirement. Everything hinges on our understanding and agreement with the word "necessary". This word encompasses the issue of life and death. As the following section of this devotion will address, the foundational qualification for legitimate use by God is our understanding of our position. Self-sufficiency or inability. You say—‘But He has been unwise to choose me, because there is nothing in me; I am not of any value.’ That is why He chose you. Let us be aware that there is a very real false humility that can compel us to say this very thing. It is almost natural speak humbly of ourselves, all the while not doubting for a second our own capability and self-sufficiency. True humility is born out of a complete lack of self-consciousness. It is not the self defacing, self denigrating attitude that lowers oneself in the sight of others in order to gain the confidence and admiration of others. True humility is what allowed Moses to write of himself, "now Moses was the meekest man on earth." The only way that we can truly say, "there is nothing in me; I am not of any value." is when we are shown our complete lack by God, and not what we perceive it as expedient to our image. So, once we have come to the place where we can really and truly say, "I am of no value", then we can proceed in this devotion and in our devotion. As long as you think there is something in you, God cannot choose you because you have ends of your own to serve; "self-sufficiency" -- what an alluring and deadly thing -- so natural, so comfortable. When we are self-sufficient, we are the only ones we trust. No matter how humble or sincere we sound, no matter how spiritual, how loyal, or how noble the vocabulary, we betray, we have our own ends to serve when we are yet self-sufficient. ("Lord, though I die with you. I will not deny you." This is spiritual self-sufficiency. In effect, this says, "Lord, there is a strength and power in me that you don't know about; I have to tell you, you are mistaken. My self-sufficient commitment to you has more value than your own word that says I will deny you." Peter’s affirmation of his own ability to remain faithful to Christ sounded so loving, so loyal, that if we didn't know the rest of the story, we would admire this man and seek to emulate him. Watch for our own self-sufficient declarations of loyalty, for they will always leave us cursing and weeping bitterly. In that moment of denial, Peter's self-sufficient claims to loyalty only added to his misery as they echoed in the background of his mind with his eyes met with Jesus’. Spiritual self-sufficiency is nothing more than a thinly disguised self-love. It is a love that what rather have Jesus's words fail than our own image of ourselves suffer loss. We must be careful of what we say, lest our own words end up being the very words that condemn us. But if you have let Him bring you to the end of your self-sufficiency, then He can choose you to go with Him to Jerusalem, and that will mean the fulfilment of purposes which He does not discuss with you. This is the painful and humiliating necessity for any man that would follow him, follow him to the Cross. But it is by this necessity that God comes to trust us. When we cease being ourselves, and begin being the men and women that God has called us to be, we can then live the reality of the great claims of our faith that we can only nervously speak now.

We are apt to say that because a man has natural ability, therefore he will make a good Christian. It is not a question of our equipment but of our poverty; not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us; not a question of natural virtues, of strength of character, knowledge, and experience—all that is of no avail in this matter. Lord, if I can understand that statement to the extent that it effects my daily living, then I can walk through this life, confidently humble, as a giant among men, (that serves men), resting in peace and faith that You are the author and finisher, the beginning and the end, and truly the ‘all in all’ that, as of now, I can only appreciate as one that is on the outside. The only thing that avails is that we are taken up into the big compelling of God and made His comrades (cf. 1 Cor. 1:26-30). The comradeship of God is made up out of men who know their poverty. He can do nothing with the man who thinks that he is of use to God. As Christians we are not out for our own cause at all, we are out for the cause of God, which can never be our cause. Isn't it true that, when we state our commitment to God and his cause, we immediately begin to make our cause? We subsume, we grab, we take the thing that is God’s and make it our own. And when it has become our possession, we can control the cause of God and the extent that it interferes with our lives. This is the motive for making God's cause our cause. It is only the wicked servant, who intends on usurping his master, that takes as his own his master's power, benefits, and cause. But it is the faithful servant, who intends on glorifying his master, that receives his master's power, benefits, and cause for the purpose of accomplishing his masters will and returning all that was given him as those who will receive their crowns only to cast them at His feet. This is a man who is unattached. This is a servant who cannot be bribed, bought, or persuaded to take unto himself his masters cause. This servant can go out, not knowing his destination, in complete faith that he is being led to fulfill the very plan and purpose of God. This is a servant that God delights to trust. This is the servant that can manifest the manifold wisdom of God to the principalities and powers in heavenly places. No self-sufficient servant can ever do such a thing, he cannot even intend or desire to do such a thing, for he has his own cause to fulfill. We do not know what God is after, but we have to maintain our relationship with Him whatever happens. Not knowing is the blessing and mercy of God. To insist on knowing before acting is to reveal that we never really trusted in the first place. Not knowing places the premium entirely on faith. When we do not know, and yet we still obey, we speak to all powers and man, (yea, even God Himself!) that it matters not what our Lord may do or require of us, for we are not our own, we have been bought with a very precious price. We must never allow anything to injure our relationship with God; (I only want to ask if this matters or not? Is our concern with our relationship to God only based on how it effects us? That is, do we only seek to maintain and secure good relations with God when it is convenient or profitable for us? Not in the most obvious ways, but in subtle. I want my concern for my relationship with God based solely on God’s side of it. Does it profit Him? Is it glorifying Him? Does it advance His Kingdom? Am I obeying- even when there is nobody looking- even when there is no prospect of reward or even recognition?) if it does get injured, we must take time and get it put right. The main thing about Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the atmosphere produced by that relationship. (If I only repeated that last statement, it would be enough. ‘Take time’?!?!?! What an obnoxious thing to ask! When is the last time we ‘took time’? Not the bedtime prayers as we drift off to sleep. Not the quick and habitual ‘grace’ spoken through salivating mouths before a meal. Not the drive in the car on the way to work with the ‘worship music’ playing. Not Bible studies. Not church attendance. Not service in the church. Not ministry outside of the church. Not pot-luck dinners. Not coincidental meetings of brothers and sisters outside of church. When is the last time we ‘TOOK time’? When the door was shut and locked, when the shades were drawn. When every- EVERY task, legitimate or not, was deliberately set aside. When it was a sacrifice. When there were better, more productive things to do. When family issues that required attention were put on hold. When was the last time that you intentionally stopped everything, against all logic and common sense, locked yourself in the room/closet, started praying in your chair, 20 min later were on your knees, an hour later on you face, desiring to be no other place than right where you were, inhaling all the wonderful things that carpets hold, but having the very Breath of Heaven breathed into your spirit? When was the last time we took- TOOK- violently TOOK if necessary- time and gave it entirely to Him with no conditions or requirements, no masks or excuses? Now Chambers says)… That is all God asks us to look after, and it is the one thing that is being continually(!) assailed.

My Utmost for His Highest

2009-08-04T10:22:00.009-04:00

August 02

The discipline of difficulty

note: The Black text is Chambers' devotional, the blue text is my thoughts on them

In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33.

An average view of the Christian life is that it means deliverance from trouble. It is deliverance in trouble, which is very different. Do you see the difference here? Deliverance from trouble is avoidance, deliverance in trouble is overcoming. This understanding determines the difference between a saint who hears "well done good and faithful servant." Or "depart from me, you wicked and lazy servant." “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High. . . there shall no evil befall thee”—no plague can come nigh the place where you are at one with God. No plague can come nigh, because what is trouble outside of Gods presence is the opportunity for glory in God's presence.

If you are a child of God, there certainly will be troubles to meet, but Jesus says do not be surprised when they come. Not only should we not be surprised when trouble comes, but we should "be of good cheer." This runs parallel to James saying "count it all joy.", and Jesus saying "rejoice when you suffer for my names sake." This spiritual condition is what allowed the apostle Paul to count all his afflictions quite "light and momentary" being in the presence of God now gives the saint a foretaste of the glory to come. When this glory is revealed, we can "be of good cheer" we can "count it all joy." “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world, there is nothing for you to fear.” Being in the presence of God is dwelling in perfect love, and "perfect love casts out all fear." We must understand that "not fearing" does not mean that we become courageous, it means that fearing is impossible. Courage is only needed when we act in the face of fear, being in the presence of God is to act in the absence of fear. Courage is possible with man, acting in the absence of fear is possible only with God. Men who before they were saved would scorn to talk about troubles, often become ‘fushionless’ after being born again because they have a wrong idea of a saint.

God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength. Are you asking God to give you life and liberty and joy? He cannot, unless you will accept the strain. This is because life, liberty and joy are best expressed only in the face of the strain, in the face of tribulation. We can have life, liberty and joy in the face of trial, trouble and tribulation, because we see these things as the opportunity for the glory of God, and our desire for his glory is greater than our desire for our comfort. Until we get to this place, we will struggle to have life, liberty and joy.. Immediately you face the strain, you will get the strength. Overcome your own timidity and take the step, and God will give you to eat of the tree of life and you will get nourishment. If you spend yourself out physically, you become exhausted; but spend yourself spiritually, and you get more strength. God never gives strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the minute. This is because the nourishment from the tree of life is living, it's flowing, it's constantly new. It's never stale, it never stays. It is there for the moment to be employed or ignored- and it is gone. This is a great blessing for us, because it takes the burden of all our future moments off of us, not in an irresponsible way, but in a way that allows us to have faith that he will provide the same tree of life for our future moments The temptation is to face difficulties from a commonsense standpoint. Common sense is the poison of the Christian life. Common sense makes all the miracles of God, which is the only realm in which God works, a mere fancy. It makes them something that we can look at and admire, but only from a distance. It's like, we are here in the real world, but we comfort ourselves with the thought that somewhere, sometime, somehow God did these amazing things, but it's distant from us, it's in "that other world." Common sense is what takes the miracle out of God, and makes him someone that we can contain, someone that we can control, someone who ends up looking an awful lot like us. Common sense allows us to hold God to our standards, it allows us to demand that God acts in a way that we can understand, predict, and determine. It is, in short, us apprehending God instead of God apprehending us. It is the truth living for us, instead of us living for the truth. It is us creating God in our own image, instead of seeing that we are created in God's image. Common sense is nothing more or other than our refusal to take God as he is, and our insistence on making him as we want Him to be. The commonsense God will always be understood, he will always be predictable, and he will never demand of us anything more than that which we could do without him. The saint is hilarious when he is crushed with difficulties because the thing is so ludicrously impossible to anyone but God.

Psalm 130, well, the first few verses.

2009-07-31T13:44:00.009-04:00

I suppose this question I have is representative of the quiet crisis that I'm going through. I just don't think that my local fellowship is interested in considering this. As precious as they are, they do get uncomfortable very easily. They like having their ducks in a row- it's a sign that they have their act together with God and man. I'm not so sure that I even have ducks. I feel very frustrated and I'm unable to articulate it to myself or others.

Just as a backdrop, I usually do 'the Psalm of the Day" as one of my devotions. I started a couple years back, Psalm 1, then just did one whole Psalm a day. This is one of the few habits I have that I am actually thankful for. This morning in my devotion, Psalm 130 was the Psalm of the day on my schedule. I read verse 4, kind of like I had read the previous verse- mechanically. But when 4 was read, I couldn't go on. Something in my habitual man recognized a contradiction and was so shocked by it's implications that I could not go on. I never did finsh the Psalm.
The words 'forgiveness' and 'fear' just stuck out like two great sore thumbs on the same hand. I didn't like the way they were related to each other. No, it was more. What bothered me was the way they were bound together. Yeah, that's it. It was as if the one is lacking, so is the other one. If they were related I could just admire the concise correct-ness of it and read on. 'THAT Thou may be feared'- but if they are inextricably bound I have to do more than 'admire', and for more reasons than its 'concise correct-ness'.

Fear has never been related with forgiveness in my life- much less bound. My 'forgiveness' allows me to verbalize my actions of sin and experience a certain (emotional, if nothing else)release from any consequential feelings. I'm able to finish my prayer and get up and walk away feeling....... something. I don't know what that feeling is, but I know it's not fear. It's almost the opposite of fear- almost. It's not blatant disrespect. It's as if I feel totally justified in confessing and asking forgiveness and then just go on in my life, like I did the necessary thing, I did the right thing in asking for forgiveness, but it doesn't matter after I say 'amen'. And whatever feeling or intention of asking for forgiveness was there in the prayer, is left in the prayer. Your 'amen' confirms something before God and in your spirit. My 'amen' is just the audible line of separation between my spiritual life and my real life. When I pray and seek the Lord, I really mean it. When I'm not praying or seeking- I really mean that too. I don't want that. It's false. And I think it has something to do with verse 4. With the unity of forgiveness and fear. It's something that has to permeate the whole of my life. Not just when I'm in spiritual mode. I'm recognizing that I treat forgiveness like an accessory on my utility belt. I really like it when I need it. But that's the only time it is valuable to me. I think that the 'fear' thing is what makes this, THIS -->(130:4), 'forgiveness' the real one. THIS 'forgiveness' is not bound or hindered by my 'amen'. THIS Forgiveness kicks down the dead-bolt door that I've used as security. THIS Forgiveness breaks through my "amen"-violently- and floods and fills my life, my existence, not just my requirement for correct 'reformation' doctrine. The fear is what completes and empowers THIS forgiveness. The fear of God. My present 'forgiveness' is completed by fear... the fear of punishment, the fear of being a bad Christian, all kinds of fears that probably aren't really healthy, or at least first priority. It is probably good to have a certain fear of punishment, of being a bad Christian, but should any fear ever trump the fear of God?

So this is my question, if I haven't already asked it; what is THIS fear all about? I thought I feared God, but if 'my' forgiveness is so warped- what makes me think for a second that I can rely on 'I think I fear God'? How is true fear known? I know now that it's not something I conjure up out of myself.i know it's not something I agree with intellectually. What is true, godly fear all about? I feel very naked and stripped now that I don't have it. You know that immediate sense of desperation that sweeps over you when something so familiar is suddenly revealed to be fake, that 'gasp' that makes everything stop- including your heart- when you realize that all along you have looked and played the fool? I don't want a doctrine of the fear of God- that's what got me in this fix in the first place, well, at least my handling of that doctrine. if I understand the basics of the eschatalogical scenario that's approaching, this does have a very practical, fundamental part in all that. I think this is addressing the issue of character and quality of service and life, which is what the success of the whole scenario is going to hinge on.

At Heaven's Gate With Smooth Skin

2009-04-15T07:27:00.018-04:00

I don't know. I don't know. For the past 5 years specifically, but even longer, I have flipped and flopped back and forth on this issue, but rarely ever teaching or speaking about it. Sometimes, "Yes, there will be a pre-trib rapture", and sometimes, with equal authority and scripture reference, "No, there is no pre-trib rapture." But I don't know, there are an awful lot of people that are banking on it. A lot of ministries' credibility is riding on it. I myself am blessed by folks like Watchman Nee, Hal Lindsey, Chuck Missler, and many others like. And while all their credibility is not riding totally on it, some have made it such a cornerstone of their ministry that if we are left behind, a lot of folks are going to feel taken.

So, what now? more debate? More scripture beating? No, not any longer. Just a couple weeks ago my position on this crystallized. It was one of those events that you know are inseparable with the whole of your life up until that point, and yet it still stands out alone. What the event produced in me is a prayer that I never would have prayed before, no matter what side of the issue I was on. I intend to articulate at least the spirit of the prayer if not the actual letter of it.

"Lord, I thank You for the Cross. I thank You for the history that you have granted this generation. All the giants that went before, each contributing their own part in this cosmic drama, have all upheld the Faith that now lies on this generation of Christians to faithfully complete that which was begun in them.
"Now, Lord, I may be asking amiss, and I pray not against Your will, but here is my request: Leave me behind. If you do come to take away the church before the Great Tribulation, passover me if You can. I know I'm risking ingratitude, but it's not that I'm at all ungrateful. I have two reasons for my request;
"Firstly, and I must be honest, even if it be construed as selfish, I have the greatest fear of entering eternity with smooth skin. Who will be ashamed but him who has no scars? What giants of old, that turned the world upside-down, did so unscathed? And I also mention You, my Lord. Marred more than any man, no beauty that we should desire You. It seems, almost, that the value and impact of one's life on earth can be properly, and at least partly, estimated by the scars they bear! So, Lord, I can think of nothing more embarrassing, nothing more to be pitied than to be in eternity, looking back on the temporal, and finding that I avoided that temporary pain and suffering to my eternal shame. I don't want any regrets in eternity. What fools and cowards does Time make of men! And how is it we are ignorant and indifferent about Eternity?! I can bear the regrets of my past sins and failures, for You, O Lord, are my Peace. But will You say to a lazy and slothful servant, 'Well done!'? No. Am I more concerned with the crowd of accusers here on earth? or the cloud of witnesses above? Do I want to strive now to be in the same company as Your great servants in eternity, or to be in the company of the merry makers here on earth? I know, Lord, if You answer my request, that I will, at times of great suffering, regret I ever made this request. But I also know that it will only be my Flesh that regrets it, and therefore is fit to suffer more , even unto death.
"My second reason for asking exemption from the rapture is that I have fallen hopelessly in Love with mankind. Not in some sappy, sentimental love that lumps men together so generally that they have no face, but in a way that I cannot look on any individual without praying for their salvation from hell. In that way that, only less, (if I'm not being too presumptuous) even caused You to take on flesh. Not that I don't ever feel ill towards another. No, it is not some ethereal, floaty, imperturbable Love, for I am still very human, but who will be here to help the lost? Who will be a voice for You during those years? Will not a single heart in those final years be softened toward You? What man will be able to show forth the Love of God if we are all 'up there' watching Your wrath be poured out? I know there will be 144,000 of Israel for Your specific purpose, but who of the Church 'Age'? If there is such a thing. Lord, hear my heart speak more than my faltering words. Amen."

...and that's that.

The event that caused all this was nothing less than the fact that eternity, and that in Heaven, has been made terribly real to me. There's nothing else to it. The event itself should not be talked about. But this is it's fruit. Something in this area has forever changed in my nature.

I know I risk sounding dramatic, but I still mean it. I know my theological thought process on this issue can certainly be discredited, but I still mean it. That's fine. I'm not trying to convince anyone. I am only publishing this prayer because I feel I need to make some sort of public declaration as to where I stand, for better or worse. I want to be in Heaven and have something to show for it. I'm not going to intentionally look to suffer for it's own sake, but if I were to live a life in Christ, and the world hates Christ, then it should hate me. And Revelation speaks of nothing less than a world rebelling against all that is called God. I will be ashamed if I die without scars for His names sake. If I go through this life, professing to be a Christian, and yet bearing nothing of His suffering, I would do better to not name His name at all.

What is the end of Hebrew 11 about anyways? Those last two verses are very provocative.

So that is my prayer request concerning the rapture. Let no man bother me anymore about it's probability or improbability. I've made myself clear, so it matters not to me.

Just let me not arrive at Heavens Gate with smooth skin.

The Personal Savior

2009-04-13T12:08:00.006-04:00

I am beginning to think more and more of the problem of the Personal Savior. What I'm about to try to articulate will run the very real risk of being misunderstood and misjudged. If you will judge this, I want it to at least be judged as it was intended.

The phrase "Jesus, your personal Lord and Saviour" occurs nowhere in the Bible. I'm ok with that. There are many other terms that we all use and agree upon that are not written that way in scripture. But I have to feel out this issue because lately my spirit has been recoiling everytime I hear the invitation or claim "...Jesus, my personal Lord and Saviour." Why is it that this term has become so embedded in our vocabulary? I ask because I suspect that we are missing out on a lot when we subscribe to this mentality.

Here is my one-time disclaimer that will attempt to avoid misunderstanding; I do believe that every individual will have to stand before God and be found 'in Christ" or "not in Christ" and on that basis be eternally sentenced. I will not go to hell for your sin, you will not go to heaven because of someone elses righteousness in Christ.

There is something lacking by making the statement; "my personal Lord and Saviour". The best I can describe it right now is something akin to the retort, "am I my brothers keeper?" Like, what business do I have talking about a 'personal Lord and Saviour' if I am truly loving the brethern? It's not a lie to say, "Jesus died for me" but it's almost like we can use that in a way that allows us to isolate ourselves in our own belief. By saying "my personal Lord and Saviour" I am making it known that; no matter what happens to you, or what you believe, I will always be safe here with my personal Lord and Saviour. While that's true, technically, it shows the temperment that we have toward our brothers

What if God Listened

2009-03-29T07:57:00.010-04:00

I wonder what what would happen if God listened to us?

I sometimes get the feeling that we speak so freely and so rapturously of God because we know deep down that He really isn't listening, or at least doesn't take us too seriously.

Before the objections come, let me explain; how else can we justify the words that we sing every service at church while 'worshiping'? Just go through the lyrics of some of the songs that you sing and consider what you are really saying to and about God.

"All I want is what You want for me!"

"You are my everything" or "You are my all in all"

"You're all I want, You're all I've ever needed.... You are my desire, nothing else will do, nothing else could take Your place, to feel the warmth of Your embrace" Really!?

Is He really all that you want? All that you want? What if His embrace isn't warm? What if there is a sin that you will not repent of? What if your prayers only hit the ceiling? What happens now that you don't feel this embrace that supposedly is irreplaceable? Do we know what we are saying when we speak of desire?

Now<>

My Longing for Mystery and Miracle

2009-02-16T09:19:00.013-05:00

"For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim reflection, but then we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part, but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood by God."

~Apostle Paul~

We are now so good at playing religion that we have no more need for Mystery and Miracle. Everything that was at one time unfathomably incomprehensible and beyond imagination, everything that lies just beyond the realm of description, has now become the mundane, the boring, the common, and the familiar. There is no longer a Mystery of the Faith. We should not take this to mean that we have figured it all out. But it should be a haunting reminder that somewhere along the lines we have missed it. An all-knowing God that is all known is no God at all. An all-powerful God is under our control is no God at all. An all present God who is absent in our sin is no God at all. And yet, this is the God that we have; a God that we know all about, are able to control, and is only present when needed in situations that are beyond our control and power.

We serve a God that we have made, who is exactly what we would be if we were God, this is why we have no fear of this God. He is no threat, he is only what we desire we could be. And who is afraid of his own dream of glory? We would fear a God that we did not know all about; a God who still had more to Him than we could see and know. That God would be a terror to many and a comfort to some. Yet that is the true God. To properly fear God is to understand that in our knowing Him we still only know in part. He has revealed Himself, but He is beyond our capability to comprehend; and we cannot even properly define that which we can comprehend.

I wonder if that until we see God as One, Known and Unknown, we will not truly see Him at all. We see Him now in His 'attributes'; Wrath, Mercy, Love, Judgement, Jealousy etc... As long as we see Him in part, and consider that part as the whole, we are condemned to create an idol, a false god, and he will be just what we need. But he will not be true God. And herein lies the Mystery, the Miracle. It takes Faith to recognise the part that God has revealed as One, knowing that there is still more to Him. Even though we now know only in part, it is Faith that allows us, nay, compels us, to take God at His Word that He is One. We see now Three persons, He says He is One. Why doesn't this make people more uncomfortable? We see now a God who is angry and full of wrath, now a God who is full of mercy, now a God who is distant and silent, now a God who is very near and speaking, now a pillar of fire, now a pillar of cloud. The danger is not that we know only in part, the danger is making the part to seem as the whole. This is where we do away with Mystery and Miracle.

The Mystery of the Faith is no more, we act as though we know in 'whole', the Miracle of Faith is no more, we act as if logic and reason constitute a solid foundation for being a Christian. Reason is the servant of Revelation, logic must give way to Faith. We do check our brains at the door when we come to church. I say 'our' brain at the door, and pick up and put on the mind of Christ. Remember the preaching of the Cross is foolishness. Revelation has everything to do with Mystery and Miracle. Revelation is God's choosing to show Himself in part. I say only in part because we cannot know fully now, try as we may. Moses, seeing the glory of God pass by, could only survive if God passed with His back turned to him. That Revelation is what allowed the writer of Hebrews to say Moses esteemed the reproach of Christ better than all the riches of Egypt. The world makes us feel ashamed if we can't logically prove our Faith, and we fall for it. We try so hard to prove the Faith using the tools of so-called science and reason. We believe, like the world, that reason is the highest form of thought. And for the world, it is! But not so the sons and daughters of God. Reason is the roadblock to heaven.

I am voting for the loss of reason, the riches of Egypt (that signifies the world), and for the gain of the smoke and thunderings of Mt. Sinai.

I am voting for the fear of the Unknown God instead of the familiarity of the All-Known God, who is only man deified.

I am voting for the God who so loved the world that He gave His only son, instead of the God who so loves me that He is at my beckoning call to provide for me.

I am voting for that same God who is coming full of wrath to execute judgement on those who reject Him, instead of the so-called God of the New Testament (as opposed to the God of the Old Testament!), who has now only a love that seems to look the other way and doesn't take sin that seriously, at least not our sin.

I am voting for the God of Mystery, who seems such a contradiction that men are divided by His parts, (Some say He is sovereign, others say man has free will. Some say He is a God of Love, others say He is a God of Wrath.) instead of the God of Logic, Who is so well known that He is hardly really necessary, whose novelty has worn off so much that we go from fad to fad, from gimmick to gimmick, from 'faith' to 'faith'.

I am voting for the God of Miracle, who delights in accomplishing the impossible and sits in the heavens and laughs at men, instead of the God of technique, Who can be manipulated as men are, with emotions, reason, and intimidation.

I am voting for the One, specific, true God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, (Who has chosen and earthly people and a heavenly people and still has plans for both), the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, instead of the General, Vague God who allows for a Faith that changes with the winds of culture and allows for men to use Him for their own prosperity and progress.

I am voting for the God of the Narrow Way, instead of the God of the Broad Gate; the God of Time and Eternity, instead of the God of Expediency; the God that Requires, instead of the God that I require of; the God Who disciplines His true sons, instead of the God who winks at his bastard children.

Spiritual Vacuum

2009-02-15T22:46:00.001-05:00

There will not be a void in the life of a person or society. If one thing does not fulfil us, we will quickly find something that will - for now. I am not a man concerned with society per se, but I am concerned with the responsibility of the Church in affecting that society. There is a difference. If I am concerned about society my standard of morality will hinge on my perception of society's need. The ultimate 'good' of society will determine the measures I am willing to take in order to accomplish it's good. That may mean that I compromise my personal standard of morality if it is perceived as expedient to society as a whole. That I might break a 'small' law in order to preserve the image of society's 'good'.

If I am concerned about the responsibility of the Church in affecting society, my standard is altogether beyond myself. It has to be given or acquired from something outside of my own sphere of existence. 'The ultimate good' does not fluctuate with the ebb of human desire or the flow of human morality. Concern for society proper allows the man to adjust or modify the standard of requirement according to what is necessary. Concern for the Church's effect on society insist that the man becomes subject to The Standard of Requirement at all cost - even of his own life.

So what can we expect of a society where the Church has failed to provoke or inspire the reality of our claim? Do we even know what we really are claiming when we call ourselves 'Christian'? I think the fact that we don't even consider our responsibility shows already that we have failed. Don't we know that there must always be decision? When the Church represents itself on Sunday morning to society, don't we know that not one person we come in contact with leaves the same as they came? The decision is made. They leave either drawn a bit closer to God or driven a bit further from Him. They forever change. Eternity is touched by Time.

If a society sees that we have failed them, they feel fully justified in turning to an alternative that they believe will not fail them. It's not that people angrily attack Christianity, but they do just casually acknowledge it and accept it, for now, and go on to their own thing. It is so stagnate that the Requirement is never made. By tolerating the 'failure' they gain a sense of self-righteousness that releases them from any further consideration of Christ. This is the responsibility of the Church; to effect their local community by demonstrating the reality of who Christ really is. The condition of the community will be a reflection of the witness of the Church. The condition of the local society will be a reflection of the Christian community within it.

Where the Church fails the community, it leaves a vacuum. The failure of the Church in this area is evident by the many "outreach organizations". There are prison ministries, shelter ministries, battered women ministries, and a whole host of other ministries that can function and do function quite apart from the Church. These organisations, by whatever banner they operate under, are something other than the Church. They fill the vacuum created by the Church's lack. Then churches just attatch themselves to these para-church organizations anf feel they are fulfilling their social requirement.

If we judge the validity of this point based on the apparent effectiveness of it's working, (who cares how people are helped as long as they are helped?) then there will be little more to say to such a one. But if the Glory of God is the standard by which all things are measured, then we are at least responsible to consider this point. I would not say that you have to agree with what I am saying, but you do have an obligation, if it be God's Glory that you're concerned with, to consider, try, and weigh the things I am presenting, even if it is only to rightfully dismiss them.

History has shown what will happen in a spiritual vacuum. Look at Germany. Hitler was a man elected into office, the Germans were captivated by this charismatic character. This is no slight at the German people, they were the ones failed by the German Church; Catholic or Lutheran. If there had been a spiritual vitality to either of those churches Hitler may have had a bit more of a challenge, if he wasn't prevented at all. Look at America today; what direction are we heading in? Is there a void of true spirituality? A lack of the true Christian Faith? What will be the consequence of this lack for Society? If there is a vacuum it will be filled...

I know this article is only raising the issue of the problem, at best. I don't know what the answer is on the large scale, for America as a nation. I only know that I can act for my locality, and seek to be the greatest expression of Christ to those I run into daily. Maybe I can be like one of the men who inspired a Calvin or Luther or Bunyan, we don't know their names on Earth, but Heaven is well aware of these men who probably had no idea what they were contributing to, but were just seeking to be an expression of Christ. The alternative is to a man who inspired a Marx or Stalin or Hitler, who all had contact with the 'Christian' faith in their younger years.

I don't think there is an in between.

Expectation Outside of Christ

2009-02-13T10:10:00.003-05:00

Christianity means community through Jesus Christ and in Jesus Christ. No Christian community is more or less than this.

~Dietrich Bonhoeffer~

We know that we have passed from death to life because we love the brethren.

~Apostle John~

To love with any other love besides that of Christ is to hate. The idea of different kinds of loves only serves to diminish the reality of God's love. It puts other conceptions of love on an equal ground with True Love. It will not do to say that Gods 'agape' is the highest of loves, it will only do to say God's Love is the only love.

I am aware of the different terms in scripture regarding 'love'. But I do not believe that any real love can come from man. It will only be a lust or self-righteous domination if it stems from man. If there is any worth in the 'love' that man has to offer then God's love is unnecessary. We can say God's love is better- but we can't say it is necessary if we are going to give honor to something competing for the same title. There is a reason why the old man must die. There is a reason why we need a new nature. There is a reason why we are at war with ourselves in flesh and spirit: Because what is of man is not of God. What is not of God is not Love, for God is Love. Everything we receive this side of Calvary is from God, and it is received at the expense of that which it replaces. That is to say if we are to receive the Grace of God, then our own grace, (ie. self righteousness, or religion) must go. The two cannot dwell in the same house. If we are to walk in the Spirit, it must be at the cost of the life of our flesh.

It may sound extreme at first to think of God's Love as the only Love and every other 'love' as hate. But don't misunderstand, God's Love will manifest itself differently to everyone; wife, brother, sister, friend, stranger, etc. Every other 'love' will, in the end, manifest itself as hate. If it is not from above, it is from below. We must be careful that we don't try to impose our conception of God's Love on ourselves or others. We think too much in terms of our present culture. Hollywood has given us such noble and heart-rending ideas of what love is, I've seen many a Christian suckered into believing it. The best idea of Love that the world can give is less than the least idea that true Christianity can show. This is not a subjective statement, this is fact. The principles of God are either the true or not. If they are true, then every man must be a liar. If they are partly true, but not completely true, then God is no more. We become fools who say there is no God, all the while claiming to serve Him. This is an all or nothing statement that cannot be proven, and yet it is true. We have come to the line that no man can cross but every man must cross it if he is to live. This is where the Cross comes in. The only principles that are of any value for the present are the timeless principles. That is, the principles that are eternal, therefore unchanging, and therefore perfect. But these are not principles like temporal principles.

Temporal principles are able to be kept separate from the one approaching them. They can always be held at arms length and even a neutral attitude can be assumed while other things are dealt with. Eternal principles do not allow the casual or curious to get too close. If you are seeking eternal principles out of curiosity or levity you will be offended and turn away, I have no doubt about that. To approach the eternal is to approach God, to approach God is to die. This is the farthest thing from curiosity or levity. God is not mocked, He knows the heart of men, He gives grace to the humble, He resists the proud. Curiosity and levity are children of Pride. We can be curious because we exercise control over what we deem as important or just a curiosity. If we can approach something as a curiosity we have a safety net in case things get too deep. It allows us to back off and say with a 'clear' conscience, 'Oh, that's not for me' or 'I was looking for something else'. To approach something with lightness is to presume that the value of the object is not really worth too much trouble. If it becomes inconvenient or dangerous or confusing then it is unprofitable. Pride the Father is what allows these children to lead men to their offence. Eternal 'principles' (I can't think of a better word right now, this is too insufficient) require the life of a man. They not only kill, they then give life. But they do kill. The Godhead is the Eternal Principle- but not in a vague way, and not in a way that it can be possessed and therefore controlled. Maybe 'requirement' is a better word. The Requirement. The Requirement is everything that God has specifically revealed Himself as. When He reveals it comes as Requirement. God's speaking insists on action. The Word created. The Word heals. The Word Redeems. The Word also destroys and judges. The whole point of the distinction between 'temporal' and 'Eternal' principle - The Requirement- is that the Eternal changes the makeup of a man. It causes him to be something other. Temporal 'love' allows one to stay the same while acting or speaking differently. Eternal Love- Christ in us- requires that we be what we do. Jesus never did anything more, less or other than what He in essence was. I think this is what unity is, being in Christ- together.

We need to just be. Love will dwell in us and flow from us to the extent that we are in Christ. But there is no other way. We must be in Christ. I am trying to be clear on this point of Love because an improper understanding of Love will be devastating to the Church, and I am not speculating, the reality is here already for everyone to see.

When we meet a brother or sister at church or in public, we must only approach them as the object of Christ's Love. If we deal with people based on their human attributes, good or bad, then we will have nothing more than human fellowship. Human fellowship is death. Christ must be the sole reason for our fellowship with all men. Not that we name Christ then fellowship, but that Christ in us fellowships with others. I believe this is true for saved and unsaved alike. All that a man ever needs in regards to life is the expression of Jesus Christ to him. A man can do without everything else if he has this one thing: Christ's Love. We diminish the reality of the Body of Christ when we meet and fellowship on any basis besides Jesus. If He is the plumb line of our fellowship, then the truth is that our quality of fellowship will not exceed the extent that He is the plumb line. If Jesus is the only standard for fellowship then it is by that standard only that we will experience true fellowship. So, let us understand that this will not be some heavenly, airy type of fluffy fellowship. It will be hard, uncomfortable, awkward, full of misunderstanding and pain- because we are beginners at expressing Christ- but it will be true fellowship! Do we want true fellowship? It will be so hard because we are so used to dealing with each other in our flesh- by natural standards. We are in the habit of reacting certain ways to certain people at certain times. Our inclination is usually to make it all as pleasant as possible, which really only means that we are protecting our flesh. We make things pleasant so that our flesh won't flare up and show everybody that we are still human. Nobody likes struggling, but we must struggle. But if we begin, even here a little, there a little, to meet solely on the grounds of Christ formed in us, I believe we will grow more in a couple weeks than we would have in a couple years by avoiding this Plumbline. But we must begin.

Unity, Humility, Love

2009-01-23T11:53:00.003-05:00

On unity: true unity may only come about as a result of the abolition of all that man esteems. Truly that which is highly esteemed among men is an abomination to our God. We mustn't annihilate that which man esteems, (as if we even could) but it must be superseded by its antithesis; pride must be superseded by humility, power must be superseded by weakness, manipulation must be superseded by integrity and the wisdom of man must be superseded by the foolishness of God. This is part of what ‘overcoming’ is. Now, in order to supersede all the issues of carnal man, there must be conflict. There must be the collision of the Spirit and flesh in us individually, but there must also be the collision of the Spirit in one man and the flesh in other man corporately. You may be the spiritual man one time. You may be the fleshly man the next time! We must extend Grace to one another! To the extent that we experientially understand Grace is the extent to which we can extend it to one another. True unity can (and must!) only arise out of the conflict that occurs when the natural man is challenged and conquered by the spiritual. Conquering is not annihilation! That is too easy. To annihilate the old man would be to minimize the power of the Cross. One of the many miracles of Christ coming to man is that His glory is magnified when He can demonstrate His power through human beings, not just one final time, but every moment in time! We would love it as Christians if, when we got saved, we would automatically be done with the struggle of sin! This shows that we are still self centered. It would solve our problems if we had no struggle. If we can see that God’s glory is our most important aim, then we will understand that His power is greater than one act of deliverance from sin. His Glory increases every time one of His children resists temptation and walks in the Spirit, every time the child wills the will of the Father, doing His works. The Miracle goes far beyond that one point in time that we believe in Christ, it is a perpetual Miracle! The Cross can defeat the world, flesh and devil every moment anew! Also, the Resurrection can empower the saint to walk in Christ every moment anew! It is one thing for a fighter to win a match; it is quite another thing for a fighter to win any and all matches that come at any and all times! Which is more powerful?
This is the perpetual Miracle; Unity coming through Love, conquering every moment, the lust of the eyes, the flesh and the pride of life, and that by Humility.

Humility is the environment for true Unity, i.e. Fellowship. Love is what creates that environment. Love is the motive power of Humility and Unity. Unity is the expression, the result, the evidence of Love through Humility. Love, Humility, and Unity demonstrate the reciprocal relationship of the tri-unity of God for the purpose of expressing our call to Unity, Humility, and greatest of all, Love. Love is the perpetual Action, Humility is the perpetual Means, and Unity is the perpetual End. But it is not sequential, it is non-linear, and all are affected by a lack in any one. Unity is not last, but it is requirement. Humility is not second, but it is requirement. Love is not first, but it is requirement. The Love of God is the Unity of God is the Humility of God. The Humility of God is the Love of God is the Unity of God. The Unity of God is the Humility of God is the Love of God. Do I have to say Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? None of these can exist apart from the other; they are all testaments to one another. None is superior, none is inferior. None is required to be subject to the others, yet they each insist on serving one another. The Love of the Tri-unity of God is the Humble deference to One Another which maintains Their Unity. Amen!

On humility: what is true humility? If humility really is the environment in which true unity dwells then we must be shown what humility is. God himself is the ultimate expression of what humility is. He lowers himself in order to allow us to see Him in terms we can understand, and even allows anthropomorphic terminology as descriptors. And that not only in the Old Testament witness, where God is described as having an arm, and eyes, and various other parts of human anatomy, but also quite literally in the New Testament witness God himself has become man, a man with arms, a man with eyes - a man of flesh and blood.
God had to limit himself, and therefore humble himself, as the only way of communicating to us fallen men His love. How humiliating it is that God has to hear men like us describe him in terms that are totally inadequate, and in that inadequacy of language taking the risk of inching closer and closer to the cliff of idolatry. And yet we must speak. And that is part of the Humility of God; Him knowing that He must be communicated to the lost and dying world, and also knowing that those who communicate him will do an inadequate job. I can only surmise that this is where the miracles of grace and mercy take center stage and through our weakness demonstrate his power. In short, the humility of God is that he has chosen to work through man in order to demonstrate the greatness of his Love. He lowers Himself because He desires Unity with man, and this requires the humiliation of God. We are separated from God by sin. In revealing Himself to us, He has to Humble Himself. We inhabit a world of 4 dimensions; God is above, outside, over, beyond, more, and Other than what we can perceive. This is Humility; making ones self less for the benefit of another. Christ did it in the ultimate way that, while we were still His vehement enemies, He gave Himself for us. Whew! What does one say at this point?! To call anything else ‘Love’ is to utter nonsense. Look what Humility does! Even these words can only be understood in part, for the richness of them is wrapped up in the nature of the Godhead itself. But what He does reveal is what we are responsible, and privileged, to receive. And this leads us to Love….

On love: For God to reveal Himself is Love. He is God apart from us. He would be Love if He chose to keep Himself hidden. We are in no way necessary for God to be God. But He has made Himself known. He has chosen us.
God revealing Himself is the entirety of what Love is. Love doesn’t produce action- Love is action. Its being is its doing. There is no distinction. This is how the speaking of God is the Creating act of God. The Word was God. Now we as the objects of this active Love are compelled to action.
The revelation of God to man is the only hope that man has of being saved from Hell. This revelation cost God everything. This Revelation is Jesus. The Love of God has emptied Himself of godliness in order to humble Himself to man, and it was by this humiliation alone that Christ could pray, ‘Father make them one as we are one’. Our only hope of unity with God, and with man, is this Humiliation of God for the Love of man. This Love of God may be amazing to talk about, but now we must see how this affects us and what it requires of us, because it does both.
Unity, Humility and Love affect us in two ways that are related and dependent upon each other. The first way is that the Unity, Humility and Love of God seeks us out and finds us. We are the hunted of God! It is this truth that serves as the example for the second way it affects us; that is we are to be the demonstration of this same Unity, Humility and Love to each other. Not just the brethren, but even and especially those that are yet our enemies. God did not just give us a concept of these three realities, He is these Three and therefore He does these Three. That is our example. We cannot give the people in the church and the world the concept of Unity, Humility and Love, it must be demonstrated. And it can only be demonstrated if that is what we really are. The danger is already apparent and a present and historical fact; we can fake it. We can impose another definition upon it, we can alter it just enough to make it less costly to ourselves. There can be emotional and even spiritual manifestations of the apparent reality of these Three, but it can still be a lie. If we are only concerned about ourselves, then we can say, “Who cares how people believe God, as long as they believe?” For one, if we say this, we surely don’t know what it is to believe. But further, we disqualify ourselves from being those who really are demonstrations of Unity, Humility, and Love. It must be God’s glory that we are after and His glory only. In this way we will be sure to incur the expense of our lives, daily dying many deaths, and if you’re good enough at it, physical death.

Love must make us want to empty ourselves; Humility must make us to do it; Unity must be the beginning, the process, and end of our being (which is our doing).

Humility must make us want to empty ourselves; Unity must make us to do it; Love must be the beginning, the process, and end of our being (which is our doing).

Unity must make us want to empty ourselves; Love must make us to do it; Humility must be the beginning, process, and end of our being (which is our doing).

This costs God everything, we can receive it for free, but I believe in order to be it and demonstrate it will cost us no less than what it cost Him. Jesus prayed for the disciples, not the world, to be one as He and the Father were one. So we can be disciples, but there still remains the prayer of Christ; that we can be one as They are one.

The Word of God as Requirement

2009-01-03T22:19:00.009-05:00

The Word of God is the Act of God. When we speak, our words can have content, feeleing, facts, be persuasive, encourage or injure. But our words can also be empty, lifeless, and just so much of a puff of air that dissapates into the same meaninglessness from which they came.

"For you thought that I [God] was one such as you"

One of the most fatal mistakes that we make as humans is to impose our preconcieved concept of ourselves on God, and then begin to try to explain and understand Him from that foundation. I don't believe this is something that we do conciously and intentionally, but blasphemy comes so naturally that we can do it without thought. I know this is what we have done with God in many areas, but the one I want to focus on now is the understanding of the Word of God.

If we assume God is like us (we were made in His image right?) then we can only ever serve and worship a God that is the epitome of man. Think of the very best man - and there is your God. (God became man, didn't he?) So we naturally have to say that the very best man we can think of is Jesus, and so there is our God. Ok, that was easy. So..... who is Jesus?

What Good is Your Faith?

2008-12-30T23:38:00.003-05:00

What good is your faith?

Does it matter to even ask a question like this? Does anyone have the right to challenge anyone elses 'faith'? to require any level of quality? to inquire beneath the appearance of faith and reveal what is really at the root of one's life? I think maybe 'faith' will have to be defined. The meaning I am using it in this writing refers to that view or system of belief that one sees as the determinate factor in all their perspectives and decisions. There are other and better definitions of 'faith', but I think you understand the basic idea I am getting at, and that will suffice for this discussion.

Can your Faith withstand scrutiny? The scrutiny I am speaking of is not acedemic, that's just silly. I have read athiest who try their best to sound objective and intelligent- but the Proverb remains, "The fool hath said in his heart, 'There is no God'". No matter how educated they try to sound, at best it only comes out as philosophical ramblings full of presumption. But why would I be induced to listen to one who is yet unrighteous? Can a crooked man see that he is crooked and have a reliable remedy for himself?

The Danger of a General Christianity

2008-12-26T15:24:00.016-05:00

I was reading over some notes that I had written earlier in the year. I thought maybe now would be a good time to try and expand on some of the thoughts I had at the time.

I am using the term 'general' in the sense of 'vague', 'unclear'. But I want to be clear at the first that I am not implying that 'general' is dangerous in the sense of a basic or fundamental Christianity that has just begun development. I am not saying that we have to have all the answers to every specific question concerning our faith. I am designating 'general' to mean that part of us that doesn't want to be specific because the general allows us a certain freedom that the specific would challenge. We intuit that if we pursue Truth further it will become very uncomfortable. It is that part of us that intentionally will avoid the Truth so as to avoid the consequence of that Truth.

A general Christianity is perilous because it allows its adherents to give a certain acknowledgement to the Faith, and yet, because it is vague, it allows also for a certain latitude which gives us control of how far we will allow God to intrude upon our lives.

To see an extreme example of this might make it easier for us to detect the more subtle operation taking place in ourselves. We all know people who we would call 'convenient Christians'. The one who is up on all the current fads- in the church and in the world- and can demonstrate a remarkable ability to flow seamlessly from one into the other. Where there is such a delusion of the sacred and the profane that neither has any real value or strength. And as the tide of fads and trends rise and fall they are in the forefront of establishing the new norm. This lifestyle requires a general faith in order to exist. The lines must be kept blurry and indistinguishable so as to allow the christian to rely on their own judgement (spiritual judgement no doubt!) to navigate through the maze of relative morality. This person can believe whole-heartedly in the duty of all humans in preserving some species of animal while at the same time believing that to terminate an unborn child- that one whom God has known in the womb- is the right of the woman entrusted to nurture and birth that child.

These specific issues are so emotionally charged that to even approach them is to risk condemnation. Statistics and facts and 'conclusive' 'evidence' can be slung against or in support of these issues. But the bottom line in these and every issue is 'what is the depth of our Faith?' Do we set ourselves as the judge of life and death? Is our God so general and ethereal that He leaves such moral decisions up to us? That God is no God. God is not One that is subject to the weakness or strength of a cultural morality. If we can usurp God's decision on life then we can surely do away with that God. But this is what a general Christianity will do. It fosters self-righteousness with a religious veil that can hardly be seen through from the inside or outside. It allows seven women [to] take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach. We can use God for the convenience of His Name, but beyond that we will live on bread alone, and we will dress in our fig-leaf aprons. The instant that God becomes specific enough to require His body as our bread, and His righteousness as our apparel we can no longer be our own judges. Instead we become subject to a power that is above and beyond our control and understanding. This is why we desire a general Christianity.

The less specific and exacting the Faith is, the weaker and more worldly it is. There is a corresponding relation between the specificity of the Faith and the strength of the Faith.

This is not to say that specificity means that the Faith must be exhaustively understood or else we are worldly. But it is to say that we must have faith in God as God reveals Himself to us- not as we would have Him be. He knows how to show Himself to us, do we really believe that He knows? What does "I Am that I Am" mean in all its facets? What are the depths and extremes of that self-designation? I don't know, but I do know that He is the "I Am that I Am" in all its glorious implications- and I will not make a golden calf out of the I Am. God is the I Am by His own declaration. We declare, 'This golden calf is your God that brought you out of Egypt!'. Since I cannot understand the I Am, I will make Him into something I can understand: a golden calf. It is still the God that brought us out of Egypt, so what does it matter if it is not specifically the God revealed to Moses? The temptation is to accept the concept of God but then to adorn Him with our own desires of how that God should be. This is taking God generally and applying our specifics so as to give ourselves the appearance of completion or depth. We don't want to be obviously shallow and vague in our spirituality, so we will implement our idea of depth upon the existing generality of God. It is in this way that we can deceive ourselves right into perdition, in this way we can worship with our lips and have our hearts be far from Him. This may only be a sobering thought to one whose Christianity is not general.

There are differing degrees of generality that we all seek- usually in the area that we instinctively feel threatened by the specific. I will explain by offering some examples of what I find myself guilty of:

- We can all extol Grace as a wonderful thing, we can speak of its glory and power, we can verbalize the doctrine of Grace- but when it comes to demonstrating by action (or inaction) the true nature of Grace, I find I still base my valuation of myself and others on how we line up to what I think is deserving of Grace. Like there is a condition for us to meet before Grace can be Grace. I see a person I like as deserving Grace and a person I don't like as having to prove themselves before I consider them worthy of Grace! Either Grace is specifically and really Grace or there is no such thing at all! The second I stipulate how far Grace can go is the second that I generalize Grace into meaninglessness. This stipulation is what general Christianity provides for.

-We can all understand, or at least recognize the legitimacy of, God's judgement. We see why it must be exercised on those in the Bible because we have the privilege of knowing the true circumstance of their condition. But when we are under God's judgement we race to each others side and comfort and excuse or soften. We say, 'God is testing you and only good will come of this' or 'this is the attack of the enemy and in Jesus name we rebuke it!' When there is an earthquake or flood or fire in the Bible as judgement we see clearly the hand of God. But when 'mother nature' attacks us so 'randomly' we ridicule the first preacher that would dare suggest the possibility of judgement. This attitude shows us what our condition really is; We are always the good ones who are suffering innocently and bravely- never the rebellious ones who have frustrated the Grace of God time and time again. We always suffer 'attacks' with God as our defender- never 'just recompense' with God as our Judge. We are somehow the favorites of God's children who are beyond judgement, yet able to recognise it's necessity for others. No, we do not want a specific Christianity when it comes to understanding God's judgement!

-We speak almost erotically about God's love and loving all men. Like it is some rapturous feeling that makes us impervious to any offence that could be hurled at us by any and all. But when we are specifically used, betrayed, humiliated, or hated, (or even looked at the wrong way) the offender suddenly has forfeited all right to be loved by you, and it is justifiable that you don't love because the offender is obviously in the wrong. If only they would have accidentally offended us, or betrayed us unintentionally, or better yet, used us with the best of intentions. Or if they at least expressed sorrow or repentance. Then we could find reason to Love. It would be a great grace on our part to Love, but we could struggle through and find the strength to love meagerly. But to waste Love on one who knows they are doing you wrong?! Who intentionally betrayed you and lied to your face about it?! That two-faced person that has a reputation for stabbing in the back?! They don't have a prayer at being loved by you. But let me tell you- they better have a prayer, more than any others. If these worst can't be given Love from you in the face of hate, then you have never really loved anyone at all. It was only the coincidence of a friendly or superficial relationship that allowed you to "love". If you cannot love everyone specifically, then you cannot love anyone at all. Sometimes those most familiar to us get the best of our hate and the worst of our 'love'. We think we have their motives figured out, so when they 'do us wrong' there is no question as to what they meant or why they did it. They have been accused, investigated, tried, sentenced and executed before they ever get to say a word in defence or explanation. We ironically have a very general love and a very specific hate. This is what a general Christianity will allow.

-We glibly and unthinkingly say that God is sovereign, but we live, act and react as if everyday circumstances are merely the caprice of life. One day blends into another, and they all are relatively meaningless. Is that the act of a sovereign God? We can admit God's sovereignty when we don't know what to do- but that's not because we really believe God is sovereign- it's because we have run out of power to control circumstances and so whatever happens now must be the act of the All Sovereign God! We are really just smart gamblers, or better yet, desperate gamblers. We do all we can to control our own lives, giving value to this event and that event, then when we can do no more and are at risk of catastrophe we 'boldly' and 'faithfully' commit the outcome into the hands of God! ''Whew! Go ahead and take it from here God, I got us this far- it's all yours now.'' We can sound very spiritual with this and can even exalt ourselves indirectly by acting as if God's sovereignty picks up where ours runs out.

Well, these are some of the ways that I see a great danger in a 'general' Christianity. We can become very clever with ourselves and play this game very close to the line without quite crossing it.
Lord, teach me to see You as You are- in all Your specificity. Tear down the vagaries that I use to hide from Your requirement. Reveal the falsehood that I protect within me, and birth in me the real and authentic in its place. Amen

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2008-12-17T11:57:00.016-05:00

I ran across this article today http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=83778
from WorldNetDaily, which is a great site. But, besides this story being shocking, horrifying, sad, and then amazing, there was a statement this little child made that got my wheels turning, then convicted me.
This girl was badly injured by a bomb set by Hindu radicals who raided and burned their house strictly and solely because her family is Christian. You can see her face in the article, 10yrs old and already mutilated for her Faith. The whole situation over there is something to pray for. Her response is 'typical' for truly persecuted saints: she forgave them. But it was the wording that she used that got me thinking.

"[W]e forgive the Hindu radicals who attacked us, who burned our homes," she told Asia News. "They were out of their minds, they do not know the love of Jesus. For this reason, I now want to study so that when I am older I can tell everyone how much Jesus loves us. This is my future."

Nayak said the radicals were out of their minds [because] they do not know the love of Jesus.

Now, as a story, this sounds heart-warming, but look at it for a moment as reality. This 10 year old girl has a Faith that causes her to 1) get her home destroyed, 2) have her family attacked,
3) have her face and body permanently mutilated, and 4) have an understanding of the condition of men that supersedes the best I've heard from most everybody.

"They were out of their minds". This is the fact of life that everybody loves to fool themselves about. 'We are all 'in' our minds' There is an unspoken agreement, except for in special cases, that we will all look at each other as relatively good, positive, caring, knowledgeable and improving people. We'll play the Game, and I won't say anything if you won't say anything. We will only accentuate the positive. We all want world peace, we all try to do good. We are able to recognize pain and sympathize, do a good deed, make rational judgements that seem to have 'right' as the guide. We will ignore the reality of the hatred, lust, greed, envy and elitism that is rife in every soul that has so-called life. It is the Humanistic philosophy that says 'we are innately good, it is just our environment or circumstances that make us do or be bad. So if we improve the conditions in which we live mankind will then follow suit and improve also. There is hope for mankind! We are advancing in technology and medicine, the sciences are out dating older beliefs, communication has allowed for a more confluent society, increasing knowledge and prosperity.' Most, if not all, philosophies contain this element at or near their foundation. They rely on a future glory that can be achieved by the strength, cunning and action of man. They only differ on the means by which we are to attain this glory. From psychology, Socialism, Fascism, Pluralism and other 'isms' there stems the world-view of mankind in control of its own destiny. But there is one world-view that sticks out like a sore thumb, Christianity, ie. the Way, and it must be either removed or distorted beyond effectiveness if we are to come to this Utopia.
This view of the world is best expressed by this Nayak, 'if you don't know the love of Jesus you are out of your mind'. I don't mean this in the insulting sense. I mean it literally. We are incomplete, broken, bent, twisted, warped, psychologically unstable if we do not know the love of Jesus. Nowadays this isn't the prevailing view (yet) here in the US because of our years of 'peace' and lack of persecution. Only the socially deviant are considered out of their minds, everyone else is respectable and generally an asset to humanity. True Christianity says we are all gone astray. How have we avoided persecution thus far? This is not because the nation is so-called Christian that we experience this acceptance. It is because of this rule: Christianity cannot be eradicated until it is weakened. Just because we are not yet being killed in the streets for Christs name doesn't mean we are not at war. We have just been lulled into a false comfort until the appointed time. Instead of using the sword the Enemy is using the lust of the flesh and the pride of life. In all this, when I say 'Enemy' and talk of deception, I mean primarily the forces behind the scenes that manipulate the men that act against our faith. The people involved are deceived like we were, they are out of their minds. It doesn't absolve them from responsibility, but I think very few are intentionally out to attack Biblical Christianity. It's just the nature of lost man, we are against God until He reaches us in His Son. But still, the sword will come, but not until as many as possible have been deceived to their destruction. This can all be considered fearful talk for now, and can be dismissed by a hundred logical retorts for now, but you don't have to prophesy to see that it will soon be very unfashionable to be a true follower of Christ. it is already barely fashionable to be a mediocre follower of Christ.
Nayak summarizes perfectly the condition of men from a person who sees from the other side of resurrection. We need to see that we are all out of our minds until we know the love of Jesus. Not in a condescending attitude, but one that compels the love that Nayak has, I can tell everyone how much Jesus loves us. To see as God sees, whew! how different, and ultimately repulsive, this will make us! I pray she lives to be an even greater witness for Christ, Lord, protect her and use her to Your glory. The final quote of hers from this article gives me peace in knowing that she is already great in the Kingdom of Heaven:

"The world has seen my face destroyed by the fire, now it must come to know my smile full of love and peace," she said. "I want to dedicate my life to spreading the Gospel."

Amen!

On Owen

2008-12-16T20:52:00.004-05:00

I like John Owen better the more I read him. He will not let us play at religion; it’s the Either/Or that confronts any and all that would live as pilgrims and strangers.
“ If we maintain, then, the glory of God, let us speak in his own language, or be forever silent. That is glorious in him which he ascribes unto himself. Our inventions, though never so splendid in our own eyes, are unto him an abomination, a striving to pull him down from his eternal Excellency, to make him altogether like unto us.” -Owen-
Some notes I wrote on this statement earlier:

Luke 16:15 'And he said unto them, Ye are they that justify yourselves in the sight of men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God.'
How we long to justify ourselves before men- including ourselves!- Our minds tend naturally to the things that seem to distance us from the guilt in which we share. We don't deny we are guilty, we just ignore that fact while paying attention to another, any other, more flattering fact. We do this in our minds and we present our imaginations and schemes to men, all within the context of 'ordinary' daily living. It is natural to do this, and this is not good.
Owen here says, in effect, if we are going to say that the Glory of God is our aim, then we must speak in the language that God has chosen for His Glory. That is to say we cannot use the covering of 'I am all for god's Glory' in order to 'justify ourselves before men'. God's Glory requires the loss of our justification before men.

If we maintain, then, the glory of God, if it’s true that it is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob that you name as God, and if it is true that you care at all for the glory of God, as we so readily confess and proudly declare, then let us speak it in His own language, forsaking the worldly wisdom of excellent speech and crafty words. We do God a great disservice and ourselves a great honor by proclaiming God according to our own imaginations, as lofty and heart-moving as our words can be, they are still our words. This is the root problem with mankind and his imaginative speech; it’s not what we speak, it’s that we speak at all. There is an inherent pride against God that longs to have something to lord over Him, to make Him owe us one, we act and speak as if there is a relationship of reciprocal dependence that requires something from us before God can be God. That is why we insist on speaking of God in our own language. We control it, we decide how God is to be revealed to us and others, and we limit how far He can intrude into our lives. Truly, it would be better to be forever silent. How He describes Himself is how we are to see Him, or else we see an idol. If His Word is not sufficient to declare to us Who He is, then He is no God. But He has declared the decree, He has spoken, He has revealed.
That is glorious in Him which He ascribes unto Himself. He knows who He is, and He knows who we are. When He speaks of Himself and describes Himself, He is not doing so in order to boast or impress, like we do. It is a mercy that He has chosen to reveal Himself. If He had not, we would all be permanent victims of our idolatrous imaginations. Our inventions, the thoughts we develop in order to comprehend the incomprehensible, the thoughts so splendid in our own eyes because they purport to speak of God’s glory, are really nothing but a thinly disguised veil of our own self glorification. They are unto Him an abomination, because instead of receiving the grace and mercy of His own revelation of Himself to us, we are striving to pull him down from his eternal Excellency, wanting Him to become less than He is so as to be more as we are, and therefore palatable to us. Indeed, we will believe Him if He will come down from the cross! But it is the Love we despise that kept Him up there. We imagined Him as the King who would throw off the oppressor, vindicate our sufferings, justify our own righteousness and rule the world (and us with Him) in a kingdom that is also built in our imaginations. And now this one, making great claims, building up the hope of our expectations, acting, at one time, as the very Son of God, is hanging lifelessly, pitifully, on a cross in weakness. Dying by inches, and seemingly unable to do anything but suffer. This is not the God we were expecting. It is not our kind of love that would keep Him on that cross. If He really had the power of God He would vindicate His own Name and flex His power and punish all those other wicked people who tried to kill Him.
But that is not who we see on the cross, we see one who is hanging in shreds, who is an embarrassment to look upon. We have no desire for this kind of Love. We speak loftily of the Love of God as if we are in an unthreatening relationship with Him, like we have an understanding between each other and have come to a mutual agreement concerning the condition we are in.
The Love of God is the very essence of God, it is Who He is. If we can speak of the Love of God without the slightest tremble, we for sure do not really know what it is, but have humanized the Love of God in order to understand it and control it, not realizing that to humanize the Divine is to make him altogether like unto us. And therefore we have done away with God, allowing us to be free to follow the god of our own imagination without conflict.

For starters

2008-12-16T20:43:00.004-05:00

I figure I will just get started with this blog, I don't know what direction it will ultimately head in, so we'll take it day by day. I have been reading some of the giants of the Faith that have gone on before us. John Owen is one that I am learning from, so I think I will just post some thoughts on what strikes me in his work. I don't know if he'll be a theme for a while or if I'll just skip around... My burden for even starting this has been that I have noticed lately that we don't like to think. We have grown accustomed to the ease of information, which has cheapened and distorted it. True knowledge is that which is given and requires application to the life of the recipient. The knowledge of God will confront and challenge the flesh of a man, wakening the battle between flesh and spirit. We need this battle. We have grown weak through the peace and ease of our present culture. We need to become stronger. So, pray on these things, and if possible, maybe these thoughts can be a springboard for your own.

Under Construction

2008-12-13T23:50:00.001-05:00

I hope to have this up and running within the week (Dec 14-21 ish)...